


Trust is like a mirror (that I break every time I fall in love)

by MsThing (Hieiandshino)



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Gen, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-08-05
Updated: 2013-08-05
Packaged: 2017-12-22 12:51:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,284
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/913423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hieiandshino/pseuds/MsThing
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A sixteen year old Derek Hale meets a woman at the hospital after they bring Peter in. She has eyes the color of scotch and smells like sickness, pancakes and a child that likes too much dirt. He trusts her for a moment and it is enough for him to keep going. Six years later the woman is gone, but her child is there and Derek—</p>
<p>Derek <i>trusts</i>.</p>
<p>(Unrevised work)</p>
            </blockquote>





	Trust is like a mirror (that I break every time I fall in love)

**Author's Note:**

> Teen Wolf does not belong to me.
> 
> English isn’t my first language and this fanfic wasn’t revised by my beta, so if you see any mistake, please let me know!

When he loses his family, Derek Hale sits on a bench at the hospital and looks at the floor, concentrating on its particularities as he tries to ignore the burned smell that seems to be under his nose. He wants to cry again, but he just can't in front of Laura. If he breaks, she'll probably break too like that time grandfather died and she was fine until he sobbed and then—

—and then they hugged and cried together until Uncle Peter came and held them both. It's funny how this memory of almost eight years ago seems to be more of a warning; his grandfather represented all his family and the crying children hugged their uncle like he was the only thing left. And he would hug Peter now exactly like he did then, but he is so hurt that, if Derek tried, he would only make things worse.

He did enough.

Derek can hear the shaken voice of his sister telling the doctors they will cover all the expenses of their uncle — as long as he has the best. She jokes he would never want anything less and her voice breaks for a moment at the end of the phrase, and it's enough for Derek to shut her too.

He doesn't know how much time he stays like this, but sooner than he expected he hears steps getting closer. For a moment he thinks it's Laura, and looks up, only to see eyes of a rare color looking at him. "Hello." The woman says, and she is young and beautiful. "Are you okay?"

Derek only stares at her. She shifts a little, body too thin to be healthy, and then tells him: "You looked a little lost and so I thought—" She stops mid-sentence and looks at him with those amber eyes that seem to pierce through his soul. Derek wants to take his eyes away but he did this with Kate when they met and, well, that was when she came to talk to him, so he thinks it's a good time to start learning from his mistakes. All of them.

When she is done analyzing him, she collapses near him at the bench and, in a small voice, asks: "Are you the Hale kid? You are, aren't you? My poor boy, I am so— I heard about something, but I don't really know anything at all. Do you need to talk?"

He opens to say he is fine but his voice doesn't come. Her eyes are swelling with tears, empathy smelling like Cora's favorite perfume from mother — the one she always used to steal from her room so she could use as much as she wanted until her nose started hurting together with everyone’s from the house, including the humans. Derek tries again and again until he feels small and useless and notices he is a terrible liar. _I will get better_ , he thinks. And smarter. And stronger. And so many things that he does not realize that, even if he was all that, he would not have been able to stop falling in love with Kate and spilling, together with his heart, all the secrets of his family.

The woman of eyes the color of scotch only blinks owlishly a few times before draping her arms around Derek and pulling his head close to her chest. She smells like hospital and disease, but also like pancakes and a child that likes too much dirt. She rocks slowly, making shooing sounds and it takes a moment to notice he is sobbing.

She never tells him her name, but she holds him until Derek has stopped crying.

"Thank you." He says when there are no more tears to be shed. He looks the woman in the eyes, tries to memorize the beautiful amber color that resides there until Laura comes and pushes him away. As he goes, a ragged doll under his sister's touch, stumbling away from the woman who seems too tired, he thanks her again, louder this time.

The woman only waves him back and they both watch each other until a deputy comes see her. She smiles and hugs him before getting up and lacing her fingers with the man's.

.

"Who was she?" Laura asks later.

"I don't know."

"Why did you thank her for?"

"She hugged me." He says and tries his best not to show he cried in front of a stranger. Tried his best to not give the impression he trusted again on a stranger. Derek fails, obviously and shamelessly, until Laura makes a sound that is almost pity and says no more.

Maybe that is who he is. Maybe he is bond to trust too much and lose everything.

"We're going to New York tomorrow." Laura says instead of telling him all those things. Derek looks at her and she sighs. "Peter will stay until he wakes up, but we're leaving. It's not _safe_."

"Okay." He murmurs and then looks at the carpet of the motel room they are staying for the night. "Okay."

.

Years later, when Peter wakes up and Laura dies, he comes back to Beacon Hills and finds the beautiful eyes again, except now they belong to a kid that smells of medicine and dirt. He has moles and freckles, buzzed hair and makes too many expressions — with his face and with his body. He doesn't know how to stay sit, doesn't know how to shut up, but knows how to lead, in a weird way. His best friend is a werewolf, he likes DC and he is a spark.

Like the mother, Derek doesn't know his name. So he calls him Stiles, like everyone does, and drowns his curiosity because, maybe, the magic is about not knowing, sometimes.

He still is pathetic.

.

"Where's your mother?" He asks one day, though he already knows the answer.

"Why do you want to know?"

"I'm just curious. What happened to her?"

"Did you know her?" His voice is hopeful, too hopeful. Derek hesitates for a moment and hopes it can be mistaken by him trying to remember. There are small things on his life that still belong to him and the memory of the woman and the hug is something he never shared to anyone.

"No."

"Then why—"

"Did you come from inside a woman?" He asks, going for the ignorant path instead.

Stiles only scoffs. "Of course I—"

"Then you have a mother. What happened to her?"

The boy goes stiff near him and then just gets up and leaves. Derek pretends to not be hurt by it. Pretends he doesn't know what that means. Pretends it's because he is sad for the woman.

It has been six years; enough time to make him a good liar — even to himself.

.

The hand on his shoulder is the only thing that makes him stop looking at Boyd's body. He drops his stare to the wet floor instead and waits for Stiles to say something. No words come. What comes is a squeezing on his shoulder, not even hard enough to hurt but enough to know he is there, to support him for his loss, to make him keep going. It's the smallest gesture one could make and that is where all the necessary strength lies. Like the ants that can lift fifty times their own body weight, a Stilinski support is enough to show Derek there is light and they will avenge Boyd.

It's all he can do.

"You need to get up." Stiles says finally. "It isn't good for you to stay there all the time. Just—" He tries to take the hand away but Derek quickly puts his hand above his and doesn't let it go.

After a while, the boy gives up and kneels by his side, his temple resting slightly on the place where his arms meets the shoulder his hand is placed.

He wants to ask if Stiles will hug him like his mother once did.

He chooses to get up and leaves the boy behind; more afraid from his touch and its meaning than the fact he is all alone, again.

.

Derek kills Jennifer Blake. Kills her like Peter killed Kate and does it for Stiles. He hates being lied to by the people that are there for him to love, but he would never kill them because he can't stop remembering Paige. She died because he trusted Peter at that time and then another alpha, the first mistakes he ever made in his life, and he can't stop thinking that all his girlfriends die.

However, she did kill Stiles' old friend and many people he seemed to care for. And then she came after Sheriff Stilinski and it was _unacceptable_. Derek refuses to what the signs are saying, but he doesn't refuse the 'thank you' and the grateful scotch-colored eyes. By his side, Scott looks at him with red eyes, angered for something he does not know what it is. It makes him strangely pleased.

When the Sheriff is truly saved, taken away from the building and hugged by his son, he asks Derek to come talk to him alone, oblivious by the range of werewolves' auditions, looks at Derek and tells him: "Thank you." And "My wife always knew you were a good kid." And "You didn't need to do this for her. Killing this woman, I mean. She wouldn't want that. Though I appreciate."

Derek looks him in the eyes and considers to nod and to leave. But he is tired of lying and today he saved a life instead of losing someone. A truth comes as a trophy to himself. _There_ , the voice in the back of his head that sounds like Laura says, _you saved a life. Here, have the ability to tell yourself and others the truth. But don't get used, pup._

He wants to say he is tired, or about Boyd. He wants to tell him he is scared. He chooses: "I didn't do it for her."

The sheriff stops, mouth hanged open, before he closes it and nods. "My wife would have loved you." He says and Scott's eyes burn the back of his neck. It sounds like a bless.

But he is a curse and Stiles doesn't deserve to die.

.

In the end, it is Stiles who changes everything. Like his mother, like his father, like he himself, he changes everything. The Alphas are gone and Scott has killed — his status as alpha gone so fast he quickly submits to Derek because nothing is worse than having the power and losing again. He smells like fear of becoming a beta and he needs, craves the power only a pack can give him.

Scott isn't thinking and Derek is smarter than he was all those months ago; he denies Scott the bite and tells him to think about it. If he still wants, he will give it to him, though he will never be able to trust the boy ( _again_ ) because he will probably try to kill him and take control of Derek's scattered pack. He doesn't tell him this last part.

The boy whines but does as he is told. Allison hugs and kisses him like he is too precious and Lydia helps her get him to the car.

Stiles stays behind, looking at Derek.

"So I think this makes you my Alpha, huh?" He asks to break the ice. He isn't smiling. "Is that how it works?"

"I don't know." Derek sighs, tired. "I just need to lie down for a moment."

This, however, is Stiles and he never leaves Derek alone or does what he wants. Stiles approaches him until they are breathing in each other's face and licks his lips slowly, almost suggestively. He lies to himself and tells his eyes only followed the tongue's path because he is too tired to control himself. He always lies to himself, so thank god Stiles likes to tell the truth.

"My dad talked to me."

"Yeah?" He says and ignores the way his heart is racing. He looks at his right side and sees Peter lifting Isaac and tucking him on his Camaro. Before he goes, keys in hand, he waves his nephew goodbye, smirking. Bastard.

"He told me about you and mom." His voice doesn't sound as accusing as Derek expected, and it's weird. When he looks up, Stiles is smiling. "He told me about the hug and you crying and—" The boy looks down for a moment, at the dirt that is part of his natural smell, before he meets Derek's eyes again. "And why you killed your girlfriend." A pause. "Ms. Blake."

And before Derek can even think of something, the boy is already meeting his lips with his own, opening his mouth to invite Derek's to get inside his mouth and he has to sigh for a moment before pulling the boy closer and closer and accepting what he is giving.

They will have to talk about this. They will have to sit and deal with whatever is this. Derek will have to stop lying so much and dealing with his problems. He is a terrible alpha, he cannot trust anyone from his pack and he is more broken than he thought.

When they break apart, Stiles peppers his face with kisses and then whispers to him: "You can trust me, Derek."

Laura's voice echoes again in his mind: _Nothing like the present to start changing_. And she is right. So right, but so right that makes Derek smiles, his teeth flashing a little, completely charming and not in the least dangerous, and it feels strange, but welcome. Like Stiles himself. "I know."


End file.
